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Lost

Four years ago I went through a bad divorce, one I chose to end and not for another man but only for peace of mind and to find myself again. I was so lonely and never felt good enough and was told so daily. I prayed day and night for help and I tried hard to remain close to God and rely on him to guide me but as the divorce continued on I grew more angry and bitter and felt that God had abandoned me as well and I felt as betrayed as I did in my marriage. I hear God is loving and merciful but somewhere along the way to finding myself, I have become more lost and ask now, is God really there?